Thursday, March 24, 2011

Share my Life

I understand that there are some lonely and bored folks out there, so I invite you to partake in my life.  I have lots of activities and fun I'm willing to share with you.

First, someone could offer to do my late-night volunteer shift on Friday. You can have fun scouring the streets for crime.  Since you won't get home until 3 in the morning, I will need a different volunteer to take my place at Saturday's Farmerettes' Fun Spiel.  Don't worry, you don't need to know how to curl, I'll pay your entry fee, your first game is at 10 am and they'll feed you and give you a prize.  If you find you like curling, you could take my place for the last two league games of the season.

I need someone who likes animals to arrange a vet appointment within the next month for annual checkups for my two dogs.  Also, if you don't mind, could you take the Pom in for a grooming, please? (I'll pay all bills.)

Someone who likes toddlers could pick my grandson up from Day Care a couple of evenings in the coming weeks.  Contact me, and after a criminal check, I'll give you the pertinent info.

Among my writer friends, there must be someone eager to finish my novella.  We only need about 5,000 more words to wrap it up.  If you don't have your own ideas on how to end it, I do have a rough outline you could work with.

If you're better at blogging than penning novels, could you cook up something short and sweet for Criminal Minds at Work?  I'll give you credit.

If you like making people happy, I could do with someone to run my trivia contest. I'd even let you draw the winners and notify them.  This would be a  joyous, rewarding opportunity and might improve your feeling of self-worth.

For those with secretarily aptitude, could someone book me the best flight to Denver in October?  I'm going there to promote my very first published novel, SCHRÖDINGER'S CAT at the Mile High Sci-Fi Convention.

I'll keep my nail and hair appointments, but if you're feeling a bit insane, you could sit in for me during my Psychiatrist's appointment....oh, wait.  I better keep that one, but I'm willing to give up my spot next Thursday with the Urologist.  I'll just buy another year's supply of Depends until I can get back on the list.

Although I want to keep my trip to Yellowknife at Easter, I could be bribed to release my tickets to the Elk Point Dinner Theater on April Fool's Day.  And for a good bottle of white wine, someone could jump on my ATV and muddle through the puddles at the Ashmont Quad Rally the following weekend.

I really need someone to type up the minutes from last night's executive meeting.  As a follow up, would you mind playing secretary for me at the General Meeting at the end of April?  Also, if you wouldn't mind, could you research the feasibility of changing the name of our society?

If you like parties, please volunteer to cook a gluten-free birthday supper for my middle daughter on the 14th.  I'll pay you extra if you clean up afterwards.

I think that about covers things (for now) until the end of April.  Thanks, guys.

Eileen Schuh, Canadian writer


Renita said...

I'm flattered we made the cut :)

Eileen Schuh: said...

Ha! Ha! I wouldn't give up that visit for the world! Can hardly wait...