Tuesday, December 11, 2012

I had a dream....

I was awaken from a deep sleep this morning, and the remnants of a powerful dream thereafter shadowed my day.

In my dream I was hiking in the mountains and as I rounded a curve in the trail the land under my feet began slipping down the steep mountain side. I jumped with all my ability and agility and managed to grasp the branch of a tree and pull myself up into it. When I turned to look, the land between me and the tree was gone.

Rescuers came, an entire crew, with heavy machinery and they began building up the land that had disappeared into the valley, even pouring concrete. Tamping.

I was comfortable in the tree and as I waited for the rescuers to reach me, it struck me that I shouldn't have grabbed that tree to save myself. If I had just slid down the hill, it would have been a much easier and less costly for the rescuers to reach me. It was not with any type of misgiving that I thought that...it was more just a rational view of things, an interesting contemplation of events as I waited with little else to do but to muse.
Then, my husband woke me up.  I was troubled by the dream, thinking it meant that for the sake of others, I should let myself fail, fall, go downhill...give up. That some how my efforts to keep myself safe, were a burden to others, that life wasn't worth struggling for.  However, none of that fit with my philosophy.  Yes, I was coming off a very sad summer and was still grieving the loss of my mom, and only slowly coming out of depression. But I still felt myself worthy of surviving.

As I began writing out this dream, it struck me I had misinterpreted it. What the dream images were telling me was that I was hanging onto something I shouldn't. I ought to let go of something comforting and secure because life would proceed quicker and easier if I did. People would be able to get closer to me, help would be nearer...if only I were to let go.

Eileen Schuh, Author

Schrödinger's Cat


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