Purple circles twice a day

Grieving 

Purple circles

Twice a day

Not that I'd take too many

But that I'd dump them

Crush them 

Flush them down the drain

Anticipate the darkness

The blackness

The pain

That should be

Could be

Would be

If I didn't swallow 

Purple circles 

Twice a day.

Eileen Schuh, Canadian writer www.eileenschuh.com

Writing away your troubles...

I am mourning the passing of my mother and although I don't feel like doing much of anything, I thought it may help to pay a tribute to this strong, family matriarch.

I partially followed in my mom's footsteps--she was a published author, too. She wrote children's short stories for magazines. One of her stories was adapted for use in a grade school reader. She loved kids, and always had a passel of them around. Cousins of all ages spent time with us on the farm, sometimes for weekends or summer vacations and sometimes for a year or two because life in our little house in the woods was better than their lives in the city.

I didn't inherit Mom's passion for raising other people's children, but I did inherit her love of books...and writing. She taught me to read at age 3 (at my insistence).  I was a January baby and in those days, unless you were born before the end of December, you had to start school the next September.  Although I was almost 7 by the time I stepped onto that yellow school bus and thrived on the learning part of Grade 1, I found the social aspect of the experience extremely difficult. Most of my days were spent wishing I was home with my mommy.

Last week as I was going  through old pictures to help my daughter create a video collage for Mom's memorial service, I came across some letters...that I wrote.

Mom told me that whenever I missed her at school, I should write her a letter. My teacher apparently told my mom I talked funny. She was probably right, judging by the way I sounded out some of the words and phrases in those lonely, homesick letters...

Dear Mummy I want to see you now. I guess I will aftoeweat (have to wait) to see you. Begose (because) it is not time to go home. I have a lope in my trot (a lump in my throat). I swlod (swallowed) it now. I hop it will not come again. I hop you are doing fin. I am doing fin.I gaive your letter to Miss.young. I! LOVE! YOU!

good-by for now Eileen p.s. over....

[My editors will notice my love of the exclamation mark started at an early age. My readers will notice I began to develop my story-telling abilities at a young age, too.]

It is reses (recess) now. I am tayerd (tired) now. our ool (whole) Room had a esy(easy) test. I will till you now how I made in it. [Notice how I am building suspense.] I made 100 in It. It is lache time (lunch time) now. I wate (want) you very much. I guess it is chast (just) ubout time to go home. I have not-hing to say for now But just went (just wait) [again, building suspense] mayBe I have yes! I do! I can not find aneybody to play with. I think I will tow (?) I can wat to see you now be gouse (because) it is Jues (just) about home time. Soo good-by.

love Eileen

********

I was obviously learning the therapeutic benefits of writing. I also quickly learned other benefits, too, like asking for things. A few months prior to the above letter, I was in bed upstairs with chickenpox when I sent this note down with my little sister: 

Dear Mummy

I am fanneg [finished] eating now. I am egie [itchy]. It is shallie [chilly] up here and I want you to make my bed

*******

Today I am that sad little girl again...missing her mommy.

Maybe I'll write Mom a letter...

Eileen Schuh, Canadian Author 
www.eileenschuh.com

 ___________________________________________

Prefer paperbacks to eBooks? No problem!

Both of my books, SCHRÖDINGER'S CAT and THE TRAZ,

qualify for Amazon.com's "4-for-3" promotion.

Buy 4 eligible books and pay for only 3!

Click here to buy SCHRÖDINGER'S CAT paperback

Click here to buy THE TRAZ 1st edition paperback

 ___________________________________________

Click on this logo for more info

Eileen Schuh, Canadian writer www.eileenschuh.com

Believe you me...

I had this terrifying dream the other night. I was back doing my psychiatric nursing job—a profession I’ve not practiced for decades. I was working on the Forensic Unit, where the criminally insane resided.

 

We had a Hannibal Lector-type patient, a violent, murderous man—with a twist. He did not actually do the torturing and murder.  Rather, both he and his dog had the ability to hypnotise people into doing their works of horror for them. If you gazed into either of their eyes, you became the guy's servant.

I along with all the other nursing staff were trying desperately to avoid looking into their eyes, a very difficult feat—if you’ve ever tried NOT to look at something. About this point in the dream I thought, “This doesn’t make sense. A hospital would not let a patient keep a dog on the ward…especially a dangerous dog.”

Of all the things about this scenario, the dog on the hospital ward was the only thing that struck me as odd. 

The dream continued until the head nurse said to one of my colleagues, “Please go to the isolation ward, Isabelle. You’ve been contaminated!” (Meaning, I surmised, that Isabelle had fallen victim to the evil patient’s powers.)

I held my breath, full of dread and distrust. Was it really Isabelle who’d been contaminated or was it the head nurse? And would Isabelle obey, and if not, what horror was about to happen?

 _________________________________________

 

THE TRAZ School Edition Kindle eBook

FREE 26th, 27th June 2012
After that, only $2.99

 Here is the link to download it: http://ow.ly/auLeO

__________________________________________

I woke up and groggily made my way to the washroom, muttering in my mind about the silliness of the dream—a hospital would never allow a dog on the ward.

In the morning, I found the dream intriguing. It could indeed be the basis of a horror story.  But, that dog would definitely have to go. 

Suspension of disbelief…Why is it my mind would accept the far out scenario of powerful evil transferring from person-to-person or dog-to-person via eye contact, yet could not get past the rather simple out-of-place idea that a patient would keep his dog in the hospital?

They say it is called “the suspension of disbelief”. It is what authors must do via their magic use of words to get the reader to accept the story and connect with the characters and action. Even in fiction, in fantasy, in romance—in all genres, an author must convince the reader to accept the circumstances, woo the reader, lure the reader into the story.

 

This magic is difficult to define. In my debut novel, THE TRAZ, an action adventure crime novel, I had editors and beta readers complain about the tender age of Katrina, my protagonist, (she is 13 throughout most of the story), despite the fact children much younger than her are often recruited by criminal gangs to do their dirty work. I had readers complain that Katrina would not have received her parents’ life-insurance payout until the estate was settled, when in fact, many policies pay out immediately upon receipt of the death certificate. Some readers doubted a bank would allow a minor to open a bank account, and doubted that even if they did, the minor’s parents or guardians wouldn’t have access the account. (It was all researched and is possible and realistic.)

Yet the one implausible thing in the novel, the one clear-cut obviously impossible, totally unrealistic circumstance was never criticized. And…what was that?

The fact a cop infiltrated a biker gang. That has never been known to happen. Is not likely to ever happen. Would certainly not have happened in the era that THE TRAZ took place.

So, what is it that makes a possible thing seem impossible and the impossible, plausible? What is it that destroys the mood for the reader? How is it that we can enjoy vampires, space travel, and shrinking the kids but can’t tolerate a dog living in the hospital with his master?

I don't know the answer. If you have any ideas, observations, or suggestions about this matter, leave your comment below and be automatically entered to win a Kindle.

p.s. one editor said I ought to check records to ensure there actually was a full moon on the date mentioned. I didn’t, but please feel free.

 ___________________________________________

THE TRAZ School Edition Kindle eBook

FREE 26th, 27th June 2012
Only $2.99 thereafter

 Here is the link to download it: http://ow.ly/auLeO
Also available on Amazon U.K.
Also available in paperback 
Regular Edition eBook  $1.99
Regular Edition paperback

 ___________________________________________

Eileen Schuh, Canadian writer
www.eileenschuh.com

Rink rat to writer....

DEAD MAN'S HAND is now available on Amazon   FREE from 26 - 28 June 2013

Novelists often have past lives that both distract from and enrich their writing careers. While my alternate life shall remain shrouded in mystery because it involves either a top-secret position with Canada's spy agency or several decades of cleaning house and raising children, first-time novelist Luke Murphy willingly reveals his youthful and exhuberant chase after his dream to wear NHL colours.

Thanks, Luke, for sharing. Welcome to the world of writing.

Luke Murphy author of DEAD MAN'S HAND

  

This is my first guest blogging experience, so I’m a little nervous—“first day jitters”. Thanks Eileen.

My transition from professional hockey player to published author was surprisingly smooth. Hockey and writing have many things in common:

For both, it takes hard work and practice. There are many critics, and you need to be thick-skinned. Both the hockey and writing worlds are small communities, filled with people who want to help you succeed. In order to find success,  in both you need to be persistent and confident.

It’s all about taking a chance, putting yourself out there to be evaluated by your peers. That’s the scariest part.

I was born in a small rural community in Western Quebec, where you either worked in a mill or on a farm. But I aspired to be an NHL superstar (set the bar kind of high).

My mother’s death in 1992 (cancer), opened my eyes, and I realized that if I wanted to pursue my dreams, I was going to have to leave home. But in the mid ‘90s, the NHL had transferred from a fast-paced game of skill, to one of “bigger is better”. I was only 5’9’’, 160 pounds, so my goals shifted. I accepted a hockey scholarship to Rochester Institute of Technology.

After graduation, I received an invitation to the Florida Panthers Camp. I showed up in the best shape of my life, and scored the game winning goal against the Ottawa Senators (my claim to fame, as my friends say). Unfortunately, I broke my hand that ended my camp, but the Panthers offered me a Minor League contract, $500 a week to play the game I love. I spent six years in the minors, and retired in 2006.

I’m from a family of avid readers, so I’ve always had a passion for books. I just never knew this would become my future until the winter of 2000, while playing hockey in Oklahoma City.

After sustaining a season ending eye injury, I had a lot of free time on my hands. I remember walking by my roommate’s open computer one day and stopping. I sat down and stared at the screen. Then, without a plan, I began to type.

Some of my favorite authors are Greg Iles, Michael Connelly, and Harlan Coben, so it only made sense that I write in the suspense/thriller/mystery genres, write what I knew. I wrote a little everyday, around my rehabilitation schedule and before I knew it, I had completed my first manuscript.

           

I didn’t write with the intention of being published. I wrote for the enjoyment. I’ve been accused of being a perfectionist, and I didn’t see my novel at the level to compete with best selling authors. I continued to hobby write through the years, honing my craft, making time between work and family obligations.

I’ve never been one to take things lightly, or jump in halfway. So when I decided to get serious about writing, I took a full year off just to study the craft. I constantly read, from novels to books written by experts. I researched, reading up on the industry and process. I made friends (published and unpublished authors), learning what it took to become successful.

Feeling that I was finally prepared, in the winter of 2007, I started to write DEAD MAN’S HAND. It took me two years to complete the first draft of my novel. I then worked with editors and joined a critique group, doing anything I could to learn, to improve my writing and my novel.

Aces and Eights--"The dead man's hand". Legend says this was the hand held by
Wild Bill Hickok when he was murdered.

I hired the Jennifer Lyons Literary Agency and in May 2012, I signed my first publishing contract with Imajin Books. DEAD MAN’S HAND is scheduled for release this fall.

My goal was to please anyone who loves thrillers, sports, or a walk on the wilder side of Las Vegas in writing DEAD MAN'S HAND. 

___________________

Murphy's debut novel DEAD MAN'S HAND will be released this fall by Imajin Books.

For more information about Luke Murphy and his book visit him online at:

www.authorlukemurphy.com 

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AuthorLukeMurphy 

Twitter www.twitter.com/#!/AuthorLMurphy

_______

Eileen Schuh
www.eileenschuh.com
THE TRAZ
SCHRÖDINGER'S CAT

Naked, painful truths...

 

Many professions require uniforms, or steel-toed boots, gas-masks, or airbags. Perhaps a Taser, a safety rope, or shatter-proof goggles.

Some require makeup and high heels.

__________________________

 

 Click here to purchase THE TRAZ for your Kindle, SmartPhone, Computer, iPad

Click here to purchase in the UK

____________________________________

Novelists, though are required to lay themselves out bare--devoid of even sunscreen protection. Just out there...naked. For all the world to see.  To scrutinize. To compare, criticize and ridicule.

Or...to enjoy.

The scariest part of writing novels is laying one's soul bare but if one doesn't, the reader knows immediately.  A single sentence that muffles a point, a plot that ends too abruptly, a protagonist who, for a brief moment in time, steps out of character...the reader spots it--like a gerentologist spots dementia, a wrinkle...a single grey hair.

But we authors oh, so much want to glide over issues that pain our hearts, or stir bad memories, or require too much research. Perhaps we're embarrassed by our promiscuous characters, or taken back by a blasphemous curse, or unsure if there's a difference between a pistol and a revolver.

I write crime novels and I'm terrified I'll anger a criminal gang...or the cops.  I'm scared those who know me (but not all that well) will imagine I must have a sordid, drug-dealing, biker mama past...or a secret background in law enforcement.

However, I'm slowly coming to feel more confident in my work as reviews from those within the judicial and educational systems and those who deal with at-risk youngsters confirm that my stories are indeed realistic--despite the fact that many of us might prefer that they weren't.

"Although occasionally I got a slight feeling of disbelief..." one reviewer wrote, because after all, who wants to imagine a real-life 13-year old kid becoming involved in drug dealing and murder and cybercrime?

But those in the know, know that kids younger than my little Katrina are being recruited by criminal gangs to do their dirty work in exchange for belonging, or money, or drugs. Those making the big bucks stay out of jail by building layers of lackeys, both young and old, between them and their deeds. They toss these lost, lonely, hurting youngsters empty promises that their juvenile status will protect them from the law and all other evil that their actions may cause. They suck them in and do not let them leave.

"To understand our children, it is nécessaire to read this book," one reader in France wrote.

Claudia Lefeve, a teacher of criminology said, "...Schuh managed to write a wonderful book deeply rooted in truth and reality." Lefeve has since put THE TRAZ on a suggested reading list for her college students.

Lloyanne Galas, a provisional psychologist working with youth and teens said she found THE TRAZ "...to be an amazingly insightful story paralleling so many youth with whom I work."
 
So...here's to THE TRAZ for shining a light on the dark side of life and revealing the natures of the adults who live there.

Here's to THE TRAZ for reminding us our youngsters are in danger and cluing us in on what to do to help keep them safe.

Here's to me for being brave enough to lay myself bare, to let the characters tell their stories in the excruciatingly honest, brutal, coarse way those tales needed to be told.

And...here's to you, my readers, who have given me the confidence to promote THE TRAZ and continue writing the BackTracker saga.

*********************

FATAL ERROR, Book II in the BackTracker Series will be released later this year by Imajin Books. 

THE TRAZ also comes in a School Edition complete with Discussion Guide. Both editions are available in both eBook and paperback formats.

Eileen Schuh, Canadian writer www.eileenschuh.com

The power...

The grandbaby and mama were napping, snowflakes were falling, the dog was asleep and I had a chance to blog. I thought I ought to write about all the exciting things happening career-wise for me but  all I could think about was the lovely bright eyes of the baby. The way way her dark hair was a startling contrast to her pink outfits.

I thought about the little snorffly sounds she makes and the cute way her mouth bows, and how when she sleeps, her lips lift into a smile. About her tiny hands and wee toes and the fact she's named after my mother, me, and my daughter. And about how she was born on Mother's Day. And how my daughter's face lights up when she looks at her. How the son-in-law buys outfits and how the 2-year old loves his baby sister.

I thought about how powerful babies are--how they grab your emotions, steal your heart, alter your life. So powerful and yet so vulnerable. So wee. So fragile.

Ahhhhh....the power of the newborn...new life. Old genes. The hair like mine, the eyes like papa, the cheeks like the brother... Her own little frown.

Oh, to be able to create characters in my novels that are as moving, entrancing, emotionally-consuming...as powerful as a newborn. As vulnerable. Characters that knock the readers right out of reality and trap them in the story. Characters that make everyone care about what happens to them. Characters that make readers wonder what the future holds.

The granddaughter's papa said it struck him that someday he will be walking his baby girl down the aisle. Grandchildren take one both forward and back...back to my daughter's wedding, my daughter's birth, my wedding...my father, my baby pictures. Forward to weddings and descendents and stories and lore... Like the first book in a good series.

Except a thousand times better...

Eileen Schuh, Canadian Author
www.eileenschuh.com