What does an author do on the day of her book’s release? As with many aspects of a writer’s psyche and behaviour, my response to this day may seem...a little odd, perhaps.
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Firstly, I clicked the Amazon link my publisher emailed me-- to confirm she wasn’t lying about FATAL ERROR being available. This despite the fact she has never lied to me before and has no motive to lie to me now.
I then stare at the Amazon page for 3 minutes. Still
disbelieving, I hit purchase and download it to my Kindle. Ah ha...FATAL ERROR
magically appears on the eReader in my hand. (I’m a baby boomer, so yes, this is
magical.) And, almost simultaneously, the invoice for it magically appears in
my inbox.
Then...well, it’s kind of like getting a positive pregnancy
test result (not that that has happened to me in decades). I do nothing, wallowing
in this secret knowledge, savouring it.
I do that for about 10 minutes. Then, (still like the pregnancy test
scenario) I try to decide who to tell first. In my mind, I rehearse my
announcement. I create a list of those to tell and beside the names, note how I
will tell them...phone? email? Facebook?
Then I savour that list for 10 minutes.
Then I realize that for some very good--well, at least
some very ‘cleverly-designed’--reasons I do not have my blogs, guest blogs, tweets, or other promo
materials ready! About then I notice my craft bag in the corner and realize
that in just a few short weeks my next grandbaby will be here and I haven’t
started that crocheted bunting bag. I have the Mary Maxim pattern, bought the wool... I
rummage through the bag to make sure it is all still there (although in my
entire life nobody has ever taken anything from my craft bag and would have no
motive to do so now). I confirm that I did buy the colours I want.
I go back to my computer and visit Amazon again. I decide to
announce the release to my fans on my facebook author page. I do so. I then try
to check my email and realize Yahoo has locked me out of my account (possibly
because I switched to a new laptop so they think I’m not me. This has happened
before. Their motive is to prevent strangers from hacking into my email account—which
has also happened before.) I fight for an hour to try to reset my password, to
no avail. I find an emergency contact email address for Yahoo service and fire
off a pleasantly-worded letter of protest and plead for immediate assistance. I
get an auto-reply email saying I’m locked out until this time tomorrow. I check
my hotmail and gmail accounts and receive my facebook congratulatory messages. I do some more wallowing.
I realize it is noon and I’m still in my pjs and have not
eaten anything yet. I spend 5 minutes deciding which is my priority. I opt
for the shower and dressing. Just as I step out of the shower, my daughter phones, congratulating
me on the release and filling me with wonderful grandbaby stories while I
attempt to keep my towel wrapped around my sensitive parts. I give up, hit the
speaker button on the receiver and pretend I’m listening to her as I rummage in
my closet for clothes.
The phone call ends and I’m dressed...but still hungry. I
remember the leftover chilli and bee-line it for the kitchen. I stuff the chilli in the micro and return to
my computer, try once more to hack into my yahoo email, all the while wishing Katrina, the
young protagonist of FATAL ERROR and computer geek extraordinaire, could pop
out of my books and help me solve this issue. I click on the Amazon link to my
new book once more and stare at the cover. I really like the cover. The micro dings and I head back to the
kitchen.
As I eat I ponder my next moves. I will write a couple of
blogs, design some tweets, post notices to my online groups, email my real-life
buddies, replace my profile pic with a cover shot of FATAL ERROR...right after I check that craft bag, one more time.
Eileen Schuh, Canadian Author
www.eileenschuh.com
FATAL ERROR on Amazon.com
FATAL ERROR in the UK
THE TRAZ on Amazon.com
THE TRAZ in the UK
SCHRÖDINGER'S CAT
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