On Friendship and Cyberspace Tag

So I get this email around midnight from a writer buddy of mine and the subject line is "OK, don't hate me..."

I think Cheryl Kaye Tardif, Best Selling Canadian Author and Book Marketing Coach [http://cherylktardif.blogspot.com/] is going to tell me that she's come to the conclusion that perhaps the reason I'm not published after years of trying is because I suck at writing...or something equally as dire.

I open the email (because it is late and if I don't open it, I will worry about it all night and won't get a wink of sleep even if I were to double both my Prozac and my sleepy-time tea.)

"Hopefully we'll still be friends after this..." the first line reads.

Oh. Oh. I'm certain now that I'm in trouble for something. I've been known to bust a few cyberspace codes of ethic in the past--the distant past--like a month or so ago when I was still learning the intricacies of social networking. ("Always be professional..." she has reminded me on occassion--or on more than one occassion. Maybe even on several occassions.)

Thusly, I was totally relieved when I scrolled through the message and saw no "thou shalt not's" or "you must never again's" or "I can't fricken believe you posted that's". It was much too late to understand what it was that she was saying, something about doing a blog post and linking my blog to hers and...well...social networking which sounded fine.

The next day I realized it wasn't quite all that "fine." I had been rooked into a nasty and prolific game of cyberspace tag and I was "it". I was "it" in the 7-things game of tag.

"I want you to write about 7 themes found in your works (novels, nonfiction, short stories etc). I'd like to know what made you explore these themes and what research you may have done...." she continued.

Themes? I don't even fricken know what themes are--at least not when it comes to books. I mean, I know what "Theme Parties" are. Like my 25th wedding anniversary when we all dressed in Fortrel and danced to good music and celebrated the 70's. Or, West Ed's "Theme Rooms". I remember sitting in the hot tub in the Polynesian Suite wishing I'd been able to book the room with the bed in the back of a pickup. (It's an Alberta thing, okay?)

Then there are "Theme Songs" like Hockey Night in Canada. However, none of my books were about hockey, pickup trucks, Polynesia or polyester.

About then in my musings the phone rang and it was my best buddy, Cory, reminding me of Fran's stagette. "We've got a theme going," she says.

"A theme?" I perk up. This for sure will be the key to getting me out from under the "it" tag.

"It will of course be a wedding night theme," she continues. "Patricia will be there with her ForeEverNever Personal Pleasure Products."

"Personal Pleasure..."

"Oh, oh. I haven't offended you, have I?" Cory asks.

Now, although NORAEBANG, my adult novel, has a couple of torrid bedroom scenes, I don't remember there being any mention of things with batteries...or edible lotions...or furry handcuffs, or such. I made a mental note to include at least one of those in my next romance.

Okay. So, like...tomorrow was the 27th. The day I was supposed to read Cheryl's 7-things blog and respond with mine. And so far, all my dream theme schemes had struck out. So I dial up Cheryl. "Whatcha all talkin' about,girl?" I say. "Themes?"

"Well, your adolescent novel, AERDRIE. Those things you told me were in that story. Drug abuse, poverty, gangs, bullying..."

I'm counting on my fingers, hoping she keeps going.

"...divorce..." Yes! That's five. Just two more and...she stops.

"And...?" I suggest.

"And whatever else it was you said..."

"Polyester?" I tentatively query.

"Polyester?"

"Personal Pleasure?"

"Huh?"

Ah, well. There's gotta be enough themes in this blog to satisfy the requirements of the 7-things game of tag. I decide that talking to Cheryl and Cory qualifies as research.

And as for the reasons I've written about these themes...

...to get me out from under this "it" tag, of course.

Now, I get to make 4 people "it" and tell them what list of 7 things they ought to blog about.

Hmmm....How about: The 7 Best Things about Being a Writer

http://www.SarahButland.com Sarah Butland

http://deadfrogontheporch.com Jan Markley

http://alisonebruce.blogspot.com Alison Bruce

http://www.bethgroundwater.com Beth Groundwater

Eileen Schuh,Canadian writer
http://www.eileenschuh.com/

Top Tips for Writing Action

Writing action scenes can be downright murderous. A million things are happening at once and we have to tell it all word by word by word, left to right across a blank page. Unlike TV and the big screen, we don’t have music, lighting, camera angles, or audio to delivery our action. We don’t have movement, costumes, or set designs like theatre has. We don’t have differing brush strokes and a palette of colours like the painter. We have words. Words and punctuation, and if we have a magnanimous editor, perhaps the odd bold or italic and maybe even an exclamation mark.
So how can we effective transcribe an action scene?

Tip #1: Use short sentences. I was surprised to learn this. It goes against instinct.

If a million things are happening and everything is quickly changing as one thing is leading to another and then he grabs her and next he throws her onto the bed while her friend runs for help—an author can’t help but want to get it all down without stopping and breathing….

A million things are happening. He grabs her and tosses her to the bed. Agatha runs for help. The short sentences speed up the writing. The periods add punch. There is no doubt in the reader’s mind that this page has action.

Tip #2: Within sentences, write things in the order they occur. What this does is allow readers to form continuous streams of visual images from your words. If the reader has to go back and correct their mental images to add new information, it slows the pace of the story and may become so distracting that readers will abandoned your story.

The lead pencil broke because she was pushing so hard on it.
She pushed so hard on the pencil, the lead broke.

The dog barked and barked and barked as soon as the coyotes started howling.
When the coyotes started howling, the dog began to bark (and bark and bark).

Tip #3: scrap the words “then” “as” “next” “while” to indicate the order of action. If you diligently follow tip #2, this tip will be easy to follow. Readers will get used to your rhythm and understand that things are following chronologically. You therefore don’t need those words.

He grabbed her and then threw her onto the bed after she said, “I don’t love you.” Meanwhile, Agatha ran for help.

“I don’t love you,” she said. He threw her onto the bed. Agatha ran for help.

Tip #4: To keep your writing tight, the action moving, the emotion intense-- watch diligently for repeated words, unnecessary words, “ing words”, and clichés.

He threw her [down] onto the bed. Then bend[ing] [down] over her, he said [as cool as a cucumber], “I don’t love you, either.”

He threw her onto the bed and bent over her. His eyes narrowed. His brows lifted. His lips slowly parted. “I don’t love you, either.”

Tip # 4: Choose your point of view and stick with it—if not for the entire scene, at least for a reasonable amount of time. This will allow your readers to create those continuous visual images and also encourages your readers to connect deeply with the character through which they are experiencing the action.

She stared into his eyes, terrified. He was wondering what he should do next. Agatha was sure the police would arrive to find blood.

Terrified, she stared into his eyes. She thought she saw a flicker of uncertainty behind the blue. Perhaps, she wasn’t going to die.

If you have an action scene as your opening chapter, boy—do you have your work cut out for you!

Coming next…the challenges involved in writing an opening chapter.


Eileen Schuh,Canadian writerwww.eileenschuh.com

Top Tips for Writing Action

Eileen Schuh,Canadian writerwww.eileenschuh.com

Writing Dialogue That Speaks Volumes

Writing Dialogue That Speaks Volumes

Eileen Schuh,
Canadian writer
www.eileenschuh.com

Top Tips for Novice Novelists: Dialogue Tags

He said...She said...They said & we wept--Excuse me, ma’am, your dialogue tags are showing.


Someone criticized my example of bad writing in my 5 Tiny Tips blog. He said it was ‘contrived’.
Until that, I had been so proud of myself for coming up with four sentences that demonstrated five common writing errors—yet still made sense. *sigh* I promise I’ll write badly much better this time.
Dialogue tags refer to who is saying what and dialogue beats are words describing how they are saying it. Tags and beats glue written conversations to the story and sometimes serve to advance the plot and enhance the characters.
I use lots of dialogue in my novels and I’ve been criticised for not having enough tags and also for having too many. It’s more common for editors to complain about too many tags. Leave it up to me, though, to do the uncommon.
“Don’t go!” he said. The simple “he said”/”she said” is touted as one of the best tags, if one must use tags. It is basically invisible to the reader. That is, it doesn’t interfere with the flow of images that the written words are creating in readers’ minds. I’m not as enthralled with the ‘he/she said’ as the experts. To me, this sentence needs more than just an exclamation mark to convey its meaning. It says more if I add a beat, like ‘warned’ to the tag.
“Don’t go!” he warned. “Don’t go!” he shouted. “Don’t go!” he screamed. “Don’t go!” he ordered. Warned, shouted, screamed, and ordered are distinct behaviours. They contain important information that will make a big difference to a reader’s understanding of the story.
“Don’t go,” he screamed. The common advice I’ve received is that if I tell you he screamed I don’t need an exclamation mark. However, in my opinion, deleting the exclamation mark in favour of the beat, delays the emotional connotation too long. By the time readers get to the ‘screamed’ part of the sentence, they’ve already heard the words in their heads—and without an exclamation mark it’s not likely they’ve imagined that the words were spoken loudly. One thing that really frustrates readers is being forced to revise their mental images. Readers want their images to unfold smoothly—like movies playing in their heads.
Purists hate exclamation marks, but how else can I reveal the angst and anger driving my characters’ conversations? How can I accurately describe to my readers, the words of men who have booming, reverberating, baritone voices?
Rearranging the sentence might work to delete the dreaded exclamation mark. What do you think? Which reads smoothest?
He screamed, “Don’t go.”
He screamed, “Don’t go!”
Despite the common advice to severely limit dialogue tags, beats and exclamation marks, I use them. Like I said, a large part of my story telling is done with dialogue and it is imperative I convey the emotional intensity accompanying the words.
“Don’t go,” she pleaded.
“Don’t go,” he whispered.
“Don’t! Go!”
Describing nonverbal communication behaviours is a technique that can be used as an alternative to beats. Many prefer these descriptions to beats, and use them exclusively, believing this technique fulfills the writer’s mandate to show, not tell.
Tears streamed down her cheeks. “Don’t go.”
He clenched his fists and stepped between her and the door. “Don’t go!”
He grabbed her elbow. “Don’t go.”
Whatever your personal beliefs about tags and beats, keep in mind that few things annoy readers more than having to count back through sentences to determine which person is saying what. If a conversation is lengthy and you don’t want to use tags, please use something to clue me in about who is speaking.
He grabbed her elbow. “Don’t go.” (indicating gender can be a clue)
“But, Charles, you know that I must.” (name-dropping works)
“That ain’t true.” (dialects are a dead give-away)
“It is.” She wiped a curl from her cheek. (This is an example of an ‘action tag’. Be wary of using too many action tags. They can exhaust readers and detract from the dialogue.)
He limped to the window and stared at the traffic below. “Don’t go.” (For variety, throw in some physical clues, habits, scents, etc.)
In a roomful of men, perhaps one smokes, one has a beard, one an accent—distinctive characteristics that can be woven into the conversation in lieu of dialogue tags. “Don’t go.” A puff of blue smoke followed his words across the room.
I suggest writers quit worrying about the prevalence, benefits, or detriments of dialogue tags and beats and just make sure their writing (whether it is dialogue or otherwise) includes a variety of sentence structures and minimal word repetition. Those two things, more than all else, will ensure their writing flows.
“That’s it for this blog,” Eileen said. She glanced at her watch and grimaced. “I must get to bed before the sun rises.”
Help! So much is happening all at once and I have to translate it one word at a time...
Some tips on writing effective action scenes...coming soon.


Eileen Schuh,
Canadian writer
www.eileenschuh.com

Top Tips for Novice Novelists: Dialogue Tags

He said...She said...They said & we wept--Excuse me, ma’am, your dialogue tags are showing.

Someone criticized my example of bad writing in my 5 Tiny Tips blog. He said it was ‘contrived’. Until he said that, I had been so proud of myself for coming up with four sentences that illustrated five common writing errors—yet still made sense. *sigh*

I promise I’ll write badly much better this time.

I am deleting my definitions of dialgue tags, action tags, dialogue beats, and action beats since there appears to be much disagreement over this. Suffice to say, I am talking about the words writers use to describe who is saying something and how they are saying it. These words are used to glue written conversations to the story and sometimes to advance the plot and reveal characters.

I use lots of dialogue in my novels. Years ago an editor criticized my lack of diaglogue tags. It is more common for editors to complain about too many tags. Leave it up to me, though, to do the uncommon.

I must have over-compensated, because I now get criticised for using too many tags.

“Don’t go!” he said. The simple “he said”/”she said” is touted as one of the best tags, if one must use tags. It is basically invisible to the reader. That is, it doesn’t interfere with the flow of images that the written words are creating in readers’ minds. I’m not as enthralled with the ‘he/she said’ tags as the experts are. To me, this sentence needs more than just an exclamation mark to convey its meaning. It says more if I use a word like ‘warned’ in the attribution.

“Don’t go!” he warned. “Don’t go!” he shouted. “Don’t go!” he screamed. “Don’t go!” he ordered. Warned, shouted, screamed, and ordered are distinct behaviours. They contain important information that will make a big difference to a reader’s understanding of the story.

“Don’t go,” he screamed. The common advice I’ve received is that if I tell you he screamed I don’t need an exclamation mark. However, in my opinion, deleting the exclamation mark delays the emotional connotation too long. By the time readers get to the ‘screamed’ part of the sentence, they’ve already heard the words in their heads—and without an exclamation mark it’s not likely they’ve imagined that the words were spoken loudly. One thing that really frustrates readers is being forced to revise their mental images. Readers want their images to unfold smoothly—like movies playing in their heads.

Purists hate exclamation marks, but how else can I reveal the angst and anger driving my characters’ conversations? How can I accurately describe to my readers, the words of men who have booming, reverberating, baritone voices?

Rearranging the sentence might work to delete the dreaded exclamation mark. What do you think? Which reads smoothest?
He screamed, “Don’t go.”
He screamed, “Don’t go!”

Despite the common advice to severely limit dialogue tags,attributions, beats, creative adverbs,substitutions for "said", and exclamation marks, I use them. Like I said, a large part of my story telling is done with dialogue and it is imperative I convey the emotional intensity accompanying the words.

“Don’t go,” she pleaded.
“Don’t go,” he whispered.
“Don’t! Go!”

Describing nonverbal communication behaviours is a technique that can be used as an alternative to 'he said/she said'. You might notice that this technique fulfills the writer’s mandate to show, not tell. It makes dialogue more dynamic--enabling conversations to advance the plot, deepen characterizations, and help set the scene.

Tears streamed down her cheeks. “Don’t go.”
He clenched his fists and stepped between her and the door. “Don’t go!”
He grabbed her elbow. “Don’t go.”

Whatever your personal beliefs about tags and beats, keep in mind that few things annoy readers more than having to count back through sentences to determine which person is saying what. If a conversation is lengthy and you don’t want to use tags, please use something to clue me in about who is speaking.

He grabbed her elbow. “Don’t go.” (indicating gender can be a clue)
“But, Charles, you know that I must.” (name-dropping works, especially in two-person conversations)
“That ain’t true.” (dialects are a dead give-away)
“It is.” She wiped a curl from her cheek. (Some would call this an example of an ‘action tag’. Be wary of using too many action tags. They can exhaust readers and detract from the dialogue.)
He limped to the window and stared at the traffic below. “Don’t go.” (For variety, throw in some physical clues, habits, scents, etc.)

In a roomful of men, perhaps one smokes, one has a beard, one an accent—distinctive characteristics that can be woven into the conversation in lieu of dialogue tags.

“Don’t go.” A puff of blue smoke followed his words across the room.

I suggest writers quit worrying about the prevalence, benefits, and pitfalls of dialogue tags and just make sure their writing (whether it is dialogue or otherwise) includes a variety of sentence structures and minimal word repetition. Those two things, more than all else, will ensure their writing flows.

For indepth information on techniques for writing great dialogue, read this article by the great Canadian author and book marketing coach, Cheryl Kaye Tardif.
Writing Dialogue That Speaks Volumes

“That’s it for this blog,” Eileen said. She glanced at her watch and grimaced. “I must get to bed before the sun rises.”

* * *
Help! So much is happening all at once and I have to write it one word at a time...
Some tips on writing effective action scenes...coming soon.

Eileen Schuh,
Canadian writer

5 Tiny Tips

I was told that authors’ blogs, in addition to promoting their books and skills, generally provide tips to writers. However, as I have not succeeded in publishing a novel I was reluctant to offer advice. Surely, I thought, my readers would rightfully question my qualifications. Perhaps they’d be inclined to do the opposite of what I suggest, believing that doing so would give them a better chance at a successful writing career.

However, yesterday as I read the opening chapters of novel submissions on the Harper Collins Authonomy website ( http://www.authonomy.com ) it struck me that I’ve learned a fair amount in the past few months. A lot of it simple stuff, but stuff that makes a manuscript shine. Stuff that makes readers/agents/editors choose one story over the thousands out there.

I was once, not too long ago, of the opinion that if one wrote a great story, with a great plot and awesome characters, publishers would buy it and pay an editor to fix up one's writing. Needless to say, I’ve changed my mind. To catch anybody’s eye, one’s writing must shine. It must glisten.

Excellent, powerful, polished writing is more likely to garner a publishing contract than great plots and loveable characters.

Why? Pretend you are an editor with five hundred manuscript submissions on your desk. Or, imagine you’re a reader in a bookstore, thumbing through books looking for one to buy. You choose one and open it to the first page:

“I don’t believe you said that,” Eileen said, turning around and heading toward the door. She was as angry as a wet hen.

“You better believe it,” Cheryl said, rising up and stepping toward her from behind her rich, red mahogany desk.

“You do realize who you are talking to?” Eileen asked, placing her hand around the brass doorknob and turning it.

Okay. So you might be really interested in why Eileen thinks she’s special and what Cheryl said to piss her off. But the writing…is awful!

Five simple things that I’ve learned lately:
#1: use ‘ing’ words sparingly. Although there is nothing intrinsically or grammatically wrong with them, too many slow the pace of the story. I'm speaking of 'ing' words like turning (2), heading, stepping, talking, placing, rising… (Wow! Seven out of the 62 words in the above excerpt are ‘ing’ words.)

#2: watch for repetition of words (In the above four sentences, I twice used ‘turning’ and ‘around’)

#3: get rid of useless words (people can turn instead of turning around. They can rise instead of rising up)

#4: replace clichés with wonderful, powerful phrases that are uniquely yours. For 50 years your readers have been imagining angry wet hens. Today, they pick up your story wanting to experience novelty, participate in adventure, live in a world different than the one with angry hens--the one in which they’ve been living for 50 years.

#5: Within a sentence, tell your readers things in the order that they happened. Readers are using your words to create images in their minds. A good writer ensures her readers can proceed smoothly from one image to the next without having to re-create images to accommodate new information.

So, you set that book down, pick up the next one, open it to the front page and start reading. (Instead of “You start reading the front page of the next book, having set the first one down and opened the second.”)

“I don’t believe you said that!” Eileen shouted. She spun away and headed to the door. The acrid scent of anger trailed her.

Cheryl slowly rose and stepped from behind her rich, red mahogany desk. “You better believe it.”

Eileen paused, her fingers wrapped tightly around the brass knob. “You do realize to whom you’re talking?”

Same story. Same characters. Same setting. Fifty-six vs 62 words. (That would be a difference of six thousand or more words over the length of a novel) Which story would you choose to read?

I invite you to peruse the many novels on the Harper Collins Authonomy website. This site provides writers a great opportunity to study the differences between well-written manuscripts and novice attempts. Anybody can read the books posted by authors. If you register, you can also vote and leave comments.

I'd love you to read the opening chapters of my novel, FIREWALLS, on Authonomy. Let me know what you think: http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=18428
______________________________________________

"He said...She said...They said & we wept--Excuse me, ma’am, your dialogue tags are showing."

Some more tips for the novice writer coming soon!

Eileen Schuh,
Canadian writer
www.eileenschuh.com