Action!

I read Kelly Komm's award winning novel, Sacrifice, and was struck by how seamlessly the action scenes were woven into the story. And there are LOTS of action scenes...sword fights, monster slayings, hiding, fleeing, and falling in love... whew!

What tricks did this author use to bring these scenes alive with just her words?

I asked Kelly if she'd share her secrets and she kindly agreed to write this guest blog. Thanks, Kelly!

Leap Through Your Story with Action Boulders
 

Many writers find action sequences to be an annoying leap from boulder to boulder in the middle of their flowing fable. They run over them quickly, trying not to slip, or attempt to cross their story stream without even touching them. Most often, they amp up the current around the boulder, covering the poor stones and hoping no one notices. Many don’t—but those that do, remember. They caught a glimpse of an anomaly within the stream, and they want more. Action is a lifeline in a story; the nail-biting chase, the epic battle, the courageous save, even the hopeful getaway all provides for an interesting tale. It’s an opportunity for so much in a story. Here are a few tips that keep those boulders above the rising waters.


Act. It. Out.
This may sound absurd, but hey, you’re a writer. You’ve already punched the “crazy” ticket to take on such a lifestyle. So get up. Grab your kid’s Mario Kart wheel and drive your getaway car. Leap onto the couch with that blow-up sword from the local fair and confront your dragon. Barrel up the stairs; will you outrun your psychopath? Acting out your scenes is THE most effective way to bring honesty to your story. You want your protagonist to fight off a half-dozen ninjas? Step into his slippers. How do you hold your samurai sword? Do you growl, or scan frantically for an exit? Are you sweating? Is there broccoli in that one’s teeth? The options are endless when you physically imagine your tale from the point of view of your characters. Imagination is one thing, but to enact your ideas gives you a unique sense of ownership.

Opportunity Knocking
Action scenes give you a unique opportunity to share back-story, comedic relief, a key element, or even aspects of your character’s personality that you may not otherwise reveal or even know about. Nothing uncovers the true colours of someone the way a desperate situation does. To reference a movie, If Indiana Jones wasn’t thrown in that train car full of snakes as a teen, would he have developed his notorious fear of the slithery serpents? Or how about Harry Potter? Would the history of Harry’s scar have been as effectively remembered if he’d acquired it from Voldemort in passing versus the dramatic, action-packed nursery battle of wizard legend? I know when I wrote the first sword-fighting scene in Sacrifice involving my heroine and her guardian, Garick, I discovered a side of him I hadn’t even known about. It turns out play-fighting brings out a sarcastic side of Garick—not to mention the fact that he HATES to lose. How would you react in a new, high-action situation? Chances are you don’t know what your characters will do either. Throw them into the fray and see what happens.

Paint It with Words
Jane ran. She jumped over the wall. It was high. She landed poorly and broke her ankle. The villains caught up.

Yawn.

Action scenes are different from most other types of scenes due to several factors. One of my favourites: DESCRIPTION. With action, you’re usually painting a visual scene with minimal inf0rmation and dialogue, so let your brush lead you. Wear out your thesaurus! Shimmer! Shriek! Stroke! Snuffle! Savour! Infuse your story with every detail and really embellish. Get to know every angle of your story; editing is for reigning in, after you know exactly what each scene should look, sound, feel, smell and taste like.

Another factor: ELEVATION. If your story has a requirement of action scenes, chances are you have an exciting story in the works. Ensure your tale is moving forward in every way it should be. Nothing hooks a reader like ending a chapter with a breathtaking cliff-hanger.

One more: SHOW, DON’T TELL. And I mean that literally. Not sure how to reveal your hero’s feelings for your heroine? Nothing says true love like armed bank robbery for the funds to buy an engagement ring. Now you’ve got a new twist. Especially if your heroine’s new job is at the bank. Action scenes can often cause accidental brainstorming, even if it is just for you.

Are those boulders beginning to earn a more scenic spot in your story stream? A last tactic: explore the action boulders in stories you found particularly effective. What was it that drew you in? Why, and how? Now, pick up that pen and dive into that river! Lasso the biggest boulder you can and let it anchor you through the rapids of your flowing fable.

Kelly Komm is the Canadian author of Sacrifice, an award-winning young adult fantasy novel. For more information, please visit www.kellykomm.com  


Eileen Schuh, Canadian writer www.eileenschuh.com

Top Tips for Writing Action

Writing action scenes can be downright murderous. A million things are happening at once and we have to tell it all word by word by word, left to right across a blank page. Unlike TV and the big screen, we don’t have music, lighting, camera angles, or audio to delivery our action. We don’t have movement, costumes, or set designs like theatre has. We don’t have differing brush strokes and a palette of colours like the painter. We have words. Words and punctuation, and if we have a magnanimous editor, perhaps the odd bold or italic and maybe even an exclamation mark.
So how can we effective transcribe an action scene?

Tip #1: Use short sentences. I was surprised to learn this. It goes against instinct.

If a million things are happening and everything is quickly changing as one thing is leading to another and then he grabs her and next he throws her onto the bed while her friend runs for help—an author can’t help but want to get it all down without stopping and breathing….

A million things are happening. He grabs her and tosses her to the bed. Agatha runs for help. The short sentences speed up the writing. The periods add punch. There is no doubt in the reader’s mind that this page has action.

Tip #2: Within sentences, write things in the order they occur. What this does is allow readers to form continuous streams of visual images from your words. If the reader has to go back and correct their mental images to add new information, it slows the pace of the story and may become so distracting that readers will abandoned your story.

The lead pencil broke because she was pushing so hard on it.
She pushed so hard on the pencil, the lead broke.

The dog barked and barked and barked as soon as the coyotes started howling.
When the coyotes started howling, the dog began to bark (and bark and bark).

Tip #3: scrap the words “then” “as” “next” “while” to indicate the order of action. If you diligently follow tip #2, this tip will be easy to follow. Readers will get used to your rhythm and understand that things are following chronologically. You therefore don’t need those words.

He grabbed her and then threw her onto the bed after she said, “I don’t love you.” Meanwhile, Agatha ran for help.

“I don’t love you,” she said. He threw her onto the bed. Agatha ran for help.

Tip #4: To keep your writing tight, the action moving, the emotion intense-- watch diligently for repeated words, unnecessary words, “ing words”, and clichés.

He threw her [down] onto the bed. Then bend[ing] [down] over her, he said [as cool as a cucumber], “I don’t love you, either.”

He threw her onto the bed and bent over her. His eyes narrowed. His brows lifted. His lips slowly parted. “I don’t love you, either.”

Tip # 4: Choose your point of view and stick with it—if not for the entire scene, at least for a reasonable amount of time. This will allow your readers to create those continuous visual images and also encourages your readers to connect deeply with the character through which they are experiencing the action.

She stared into his eyes, terrified. He was wondering what he should do next. Agatha was sure the police would arrive to find blood.

Terrified, she stared into his eyes. She thought she saw a flicker of uncertainty behind the blue. Perhaps, she wasn’t going to die.

If you have an action scene as your opening chapter, boy—do you have your work cut out for you!

Coming next…the challenges involved in writing an opening chapter.


Eileen Schuh,Canadian writerwww.eileenschuh.com

Top Tips for Novice Novelists: Dialogue Tags

He said...She said...They said & we wept--Excuse me, ma’am, your dialogue tags are showing.

Someone criticized my example of bad writing in my 5 Tiny Tips blog. He said it was ‘contrived’. Until he said that, I had been so proud of myself for coming up with four sentences that illustrated five common writing errors—yet still made sense. *sigh*

I promise I’ll write badly much better this time.

I am deleting my definitions of dialgue tags, action tags, dialogue beats, and action beats since there appears to be much disagreement over this. Suffice to say, I am talking about the words writers use to describe who is saying something and how they are saying it. These words are used to glue written conversations to the story and sometimes to advance the plot and reveal characters.

I use lots of dialogue in my novels. Years ago an editor criticized my lack of diaglogue tags. It is more common for editors to complain about too many tags. Leave it up to me, though, to do the uncommon.

I must have over-compensated, because I now get criticised for using too many tags.

“Don’t go!” he said. The simple “he said”/”she said” is touted as one of the best tags, if one must use tags. It is basically invisible to the reader. That is, it doesn’t interfere with the flow of images that the written words are creating in readers’ minds. I’m not as enthralled with the ‘he/she said’ tags as the experts are. To me, this sentence needs more than just an exclamation mark to convey its meaning. It says more if I use a word like ‘warned’ in the attribution.

“Don’t go!” he warned. “Don’t go!” he shouted. “Don’t go!” he screamed. “Don’t go!” he ordered. Warned, shouted, screamed, and ordered are distinct behaviours. They contain important information that will make a big difference to a reader’s understanding of the story.

“Don’t go,” he screamed. The common advice I’ve received is that if I tell you he screamed I don’t need an exclamation mark. However, in my opinion, deleting the exclamation mark delays the emotional connotation too long. By the time readers get to the ‘screamed’ part of the sentence, they’ve already heard the words in their heads—and without an exclamation mark it’s not likely they’ve imagined that the words were spoken loudly. One thing that really frustrates readers is being forced to revise their mental images. Readers want their images to unfold smoothly—like movies playing in their heads.

Purists hate exclamation marks, but how else can I reveal the angst and anger driving my characters’ conversations? How can I accurately describe to my readers, the words of men who have booming, reverberating, baritone voices?

Rearranging the sentence might work to delete the dreaded exclamation mark. What do you think? Which reads smoothest?
He screamed, “Don’t go.”
He screamed, “Don’t go!”

Despite the common advice to severely limit dialogue tags,attributions, beats, creative adverbs,substitutions for "said", and exclamation marks, I use them. Like I said, a large part of my story telling is done with dialogue and it is imperative I convey the emotional intensity accompanying the words.

“Don’t go,” she pleaded.
“Don’t go,” he whispered.
“Don’t! Go!”

Describing nonverbal communication behaviours is a technique that can be used as an alternative to 'he said/she said'. You might notice that this technique fulfills the writer’s mandate to show, not tell. It makes dialogue more dynamic--enabling conversations to advance the plot, deepen characterizations, and help set the scene.

Tears streamed down her cheeks. “Don’t go.”
He clenched his fists and stepped between her and the door. “Don’t go!”
He grabbed her elbow. “Don’t go.”

Whatever your personal beliefs about tags and beats, keep in mind that few things annoy readers more than having to count back through sentences to determine which person is saying what. If a conversation is lengthy and you don’t want to use tags, please use something to clue me in about who is speaking.

He grabbed her elbow. “Don’t go.” (indicating gender can be a clue)
“But, Charles, you know that I must.” (name-dropping works, especially in two-person conversations)
“That ain’t true.” (dialects are a dead give-away)
“It is.” She wiped a curl from her cheek. (Some would call this an example of an ‘action tag’. Be wary of using too many action tags. They can exhaust readers and detract from the dialogue.)
He limped to the window and stared at the traffic below. “Don’t go.” (For variety, throw in some physical clues, habits, scents, etc.)

In a roomful of men, perhaps one smokes, one has a beard, one an accent—distinctive characteristics that can be woven into the conversation in lieu of dialogue tags.

“Don’t go.” A puff of blue smoke followed his words across the room.

I suggest writers quit worrying about the prevalence, benefits, and pitfalls of dialogue tags and just make sure their writing (whether it is dialogue or otherwise) includes a variety of sentence structures and minimal word repetition. Those two things, more than all else, will ensure their writing flows.

For indepth information on techniques for writing great dialogue, read this article by the great Canadian author and book marketing coach, Cheryl Kaye Tardif.
Writing Dialogue That Speaks Volumes

“That’s it for this blog,” Eileen said. She glanced at her watch and grimaced. “I must get to bed before the sun rises.”

* * *
Help! So much is happening all at once and I have to write it one word at a time...
Some tips on writing effective action scenes...coming soon.

Eileen Schuh,
Canadian writer