The long and the short of it...

Making a long story short 

"Bikers vs cops on the Canadian prairie...oh, and throw in a thirteen-year old girl" (THE TRAZ)

"One mistake and a young man dies. Someone must shoulder the blame." (FATAL ERROR)


"Two worlds, two lives, too much for one woman..." (SCHRÖDINGER'S CAT)

"The identity of those who stole the libido of an entire generation of women may be forever hidden beneath the collapse of the world wide web. #Conspiracy (DISPASSIONATE LIES)

Ah, yeah. Those troublesome promo tweets, that difficult one-page pitch to agents and publishers, the all-important back cover copy.

Summarizing one's novel to fulfill publishing and promotional needs is one of an author's most difficult tasks.

"Capture the essence of your 100,000-word story in 200 words or less," says the publisher as the cover for one's novel is readied for press. "Write some 140-character tweets, create a one-liner for the front cover. Make it interesting. Don't include spoilers and for heaven's sake don't say how it ends. Keep it truthful. Name names. Address your target readership. Reveal the main plot. Create suspense. Mention the romance..Make it compelling for kids, appealing to adults. State the genre..."

"No need to send us the entire manuscript," says the agent's submission guidelines. "Just the first five pages and a summary." "We're sorry," says the agent's email. "Your novel is not for us."

You're kidding me, right? If I wanted to write short-stories, I would. There are not 99,500 useless words in this book. It's not just romance, or crime, or a thriller. It's not just for teens. The story is about a murder, how can I NOT reveal that? She struggling with her past, but she's also solving cybercrime. She disobeying orders AND falling in love. And what about him? What about all the great stuff he does and says within those 100,000 words? And the other guy, the one she hates?

Her career--hey, guys what about her crime fighting career? And shouldn't we mention her incredibly high IQ? Her shortness? Her mesmerizing azure eyes? His broad shoulders...the prairie grass? The loons and coyotes? That metal shed on the prairie where the blood spilled? The flickering fluorescent lights in the interrogation room? How about Gator's evil eyes? The smell of beer? The facts she's an orphan, wealthy. A drop-out, a street child?

How about those stiff and staid legal guardians of hers? What about the books in the series before this one...?

It's not easy knowing which words and details will attract readers. I have found the most painless way to produce these summaries and promos is to do it aloud. When someone asks what my books are about, I pay heed to my answers. I'm not going to ramble for half an hour, so what am I going to say?

It depends on my mood and the person asking, too, perhaps. Sometimes I first mention my favourite character. "There's this young girl...Sometimes I start with the genre. "My BackTracker Series is gritty teen fiction." Sometimes I note the differences in my books. "Katrina's thirteen in THE TRAZ and ages to twenty-two in FIREWALLS." Or, "THE TRAZ is the first in my crime series but I also  have two SciFi novellas out".

Sometimes I notice the similarities. "All my fiction contains elements of crime and psychological drama." Sometimes I note kind words from reviewers. "I get many compliments on the endings of my novels."

It is quite surprising how much info one can pack into a few sentences. I closely watch to see which words spark the most interest in my listener.

"It's about this violent biker gang, The Traz..."
"This young runaway girl witnesses a gang slaying..."
"It's about gangs and drugs and murder..."
"This undercover cop recruits a young girl into The Traz...She doesn't know he's a cop...oops. Too much info"
"She's a police officer with Post Traumatic Stress...She denies it and refuses help. Things get pretty mixed up for her. She's feisty, though."
"She falls in love with this guy when she's thirteen but by the time she turns eighteen, he's married."

It takes many tries, but sometimes one sentence appears that just lays it all down on the line.

"Her testimony as a child brought down the gang. Now the bikers want revenge." FIREWALLS.

Eileen Schuh, Author
THE TRAZ
FATAL ERROR
FIREWALLSDISPASSIONATE LIES
Schrödinger's Cat

What do I do now?

Oh, no! What do I do?

Faced with the unexpected, how do you react?

We're all creatures of habit. Being able to perform complicated actions with little or no thought allows us to free up our brain for creative thinking. There are likely many amazing ideas that owe their existence to the morning rituals of teeth-brushing and hair-combing.

However, as with all great evolutionary adaptations, there are downsides to this fabulous ability of ours. Getting stuck in routines which are no longer useful, is one.

Being unable to to deal with new circumstances is another. We become so used to doing things the way things have always been done, stepping out of our usual behaviour to meet the unexpected can be very discomforting.

This happened to me recently when I received a reply from a publishing house to my question about whether or not they'd care to have a look at my manuscript.

Eileen Schuh, author

Now, submission guidelines are a problem for both publishers and writers, both parties complain bitterly about them. Publishers complain writers don't abide by them and writers complain that every publisher wants something different these days, the guidelines are confusing, extensive, and at times impossible to follow.

Both parties' complaints are valid. Submission procedures used to be standardized--I know, I've been submitting manuscripts for thirty years. You used to double space on 8.5" x 11" white paper, use Times New Roman font, indent paragraphs five spaces, have one inch margins all around, and include your name, the title, and page number on each page following the first one. There used to be two spaces between sentences. On page one, you listed the word count, your address and phone number, and the rights you were offering (usually first North American serial rights). You submitted by mailing the entire manuscript from the post office and including a self-addressed-stamped envelop for reply and/or return of the manuscript.

Not one of those things is standard procedure anymore, making submissions time-consuming and confusing and resulting in many submission errors. For each submission, one must first research the submission guidelines, which are often hidden in unexpected places on publishers' websites. One must carefully, point-by-point go through each requirement and make the necessary changes to one's document and remember to remove the formatting done to meet the previous publishers' guidelines. One must find where and how to send the manuscript (email or snail mail), locate the name of the contact person if at all possible (to personalize your submission and give it a better chance of being seriously reviewed), and so on.

I've become used to doing all that, and getting better at making fewer errors. So when I received an email reply to my submission question from a large Canadian publisher yesterday--well, I'm still re-reading it. Unable to accept it as fact. Not knowing what to do next.

"Our Canadian Division," the email says, "reviews any material submitted by Canadian writers...There are no special editing or guidelines required..."

Huh? No guidelines? No...special font? No margins, page numbers, brief synopsis or lengthy author bio required? No marketing plan?  Would it help if I send them anyways? Will it annoy you if I do? If I don't? Do you want me to send you the entire manuscript? The first chapter? The first fifty pages?

The only protocol authors are advised to follow is to snail mail their submissions, no emails.

Having the ability to submit whatever I want should leave me feeling yeehaw liberated. However, I'm feeling quite unsettled. I simply don't trust my ability to decide what is needed to impress a publisher.

Out of habit, perhaps, I want to revert back to the submission standards of yesteryear. But will that make me look old-fashioned and count against me? Sending the entire manuscript these days costs a fortune in postage and since most publishers asking for print submissions want only the first few pages or chapters, is that the better way to go?

I do want to brag about my past accomplishments to further entice the acquisitions editor to take my submission seriously. Should I list  my publishing credits in a short and sweet cover letter or include an entire bio? How much of the story should I reveal up front? Just a blurb like one reads on the back cover of a paperback, or a chapter-by-chapter analysis--to encourage that editor to read right to the end (which is always the best part of a book).

I have to laugh at myself. Here I am, given all this freedom and all I can think is, "Oh, no! What do I do now?"

"What do I do now?" is brought to you by:

DISPASSIONATE LIES 

"…it will surprise, titillate and fascinate you"

"…kidnaps the reader and compels them to read more.”

"A story of intrigue, love, and lust"

Eileen Schuh, Author
DISPASSIONATE LIES
FIREWALLS
FATAL ERROR
Schrödinger's Cat
THE TRAZ

The life of an author...

I don’t think there much commonality between the everyday lives of authors, not any more so than the lives of doctors or lawyers. Except for the fact that we wear pyjamas a lot and are usually awake and working after midnight and spend a lot of time worrying about our mental health, and such.
_________________

FATAL ERROR on Amazon

But here’s how my day has panned out so far. You can see if it compares at all to yours.

I spend several hours creating and scheduling promotional tweets for the busy upcoming Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales that the Americans love. Since I have four books to promote and two twitter accounts to fill, that took a long time. I saved all the tweets I created because I intend to reuse them for next year’s post-U.S. Thanksgiving sales-arama.

I spent a few minutes re-watching my first-ever appearance on YouTube MY THANKSGIVING and responding to comments about the video clip. My friends and fans were generally complimentary about my rudimentary acting skills. My family? Not so much. I keep checking the YouTube “views” counter. At 92 views by mid-morning, I’ve come to concede that it’s not likely to go viral.

 

Every hour or so I check my Amazon sales ranking on all four books and check for new reviews. Today, my sales rankings are all slightly better than yesterday and there are no new reviews. Maybe this afternoon.

It’s past noon and I’m still in my pj’s for two legitimate reasons. The first being I’m not feeling well and the second being I keep longingly looking out the window at the freshly fallen snow thinking I want to go for a cross-country ski before I shower and get dressed.

I have open on my computer, the press release I’m working on. My daughter is on the other end of my cyberline using her PR expertise to help me—between diaper changes, feedings, naps, and scoldings.  I want to announce to the local media the release of FATAL ERROR, my upcoming author presentation at the library, and my scheduled presentation at the Alternate Education Centre.

Also open is my middle grade novel that my beta readers are pestering me to get published.  I spend yesterday researching possible homes for RAINBOW, and now want to do one final read-through/edit before preparing the submission.

I will have to do up several different pitches/cover letters/ resumes/ etc. to go along with the manuscript to ensure I meet each publishers’ differing submission guidelines. Only one publisher on my list of possibilities accepts e-submissions. This means I will have to do a lot of printing and packaging and spending-of-dollars-on-postage as well.

 

My Christmas cards are calling to me to get addressed so this morning I confirmed that I have printer labels—wouldn’t want to have to go back to hand-addressing them. I also need to draft up my annual Christmas message to include in the cards. I will remember to mention I was gifted two brand new granddaughters in 2012, released a new book, and am grieving the loss two family matriarchs. I will likely cry when I write that letter, somewhat like what is happening as I write this.

I will post this to my blog and then go for a ski. I need the fresh air and excerise, and the solitude and peace of a snow-bound forest.

Eileen Schuh, Author
FATAL ERROR
Schrödinger's Cat
THE TRAZ
www.eileenschuh.com